I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
