Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I love you.
Bad choice
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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