alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
