Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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