i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she smelled like a LAN party
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
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