home. puking in laundry basket.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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