Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And then my night got REAL pukey
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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