I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I am one with the molecules
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
