Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she peed on how many people?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
