Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
