What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
