Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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