You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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