Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
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He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
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I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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