So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
