The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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