Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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