May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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