Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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