I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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