I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
