Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
