I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
