i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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