When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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