Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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