Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
