Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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