she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize