laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
