porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize