She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
