If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
