i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You are the jesus of drinking
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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