Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
