I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ugly people sure do ruin things
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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