hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
