It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
