I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Randomize
