hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
