Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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