he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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