it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
