bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
