do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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