Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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