Kareoke will never be a sober sport
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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