id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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