You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Let's paint friendship bongs
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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