Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
