Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
