im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
