So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
