I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize