what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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