I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
