So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
