I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
