two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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