How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Randomize
