When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
