Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
