Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
