I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
